Who Am I? Exploring Cultural Identity Development

For children—and even for many adults—the question “Who am I?” isn’t just about likes, dislikes, or hobbies. It’s about understanding where we belong, how we see ourselves, and how our cultural background shapes our sense of identity.

Growing up in a world with many cultures, languages, and traditions can be enriching, but it can also be confusing. This is especially true for children from immigrant families, multicultural homes, or communities where their cultural heritage isn’t the majority. Sometimes, fitting in can feel like a balancing act between being yourself and being accepted.

Psychologists Atkinson, Morten, and Sue created the Racial/Cultural Identity Development (R/CID) Model to help explain how people’s understanding of their cultural identity can grow and change over time. While everyone’s journey is unique, these stages can help us recognize where we—or our children—might be.

1. Conformity

At this stage, individuals may adopt the majority culture’s views as “better” or “more correct,” sometimes without realizing it. They may feel neutral or even negative about their own cultural group, and may see cultural differences as uncomfortable or unimportant.

Example: A child insists on avoiding food from their heritage at lunch because they fear classmates will tease them.

How parents can help: If your child avoids sharing their culture, listen without judgment. Ask gentle questions like, “What makes you feel worried about bringing this food?” and affirm their feelings while reminding them of the value of their traditions.

2. Dissonance

Something sparks a change—maybe a personal experience with prejudice, or learning more about their history. They begin questioning their earlier views and may feel conflicted about their place in different cultural worlds.

Example: A teen who once avoided speaking their home language now feels curious about learning it—but also worries friends might judge them.

How parents can help: Normalize the confusion. Share your own experiences of being in-between cultures, and encourage open conversation. This lets children know they are not alone in feeling “torn.”

3. Resistance and Immersion

Here, there’s often pride and loyalty toward one’s cultural group, sometimes paired with suspicion or mistrust toward the majority group. Issues are often viewed through the lens of social injustice and discrimination.

Example: A college student becomes deeply involved in cultural clubs and advocacy work, but struggles to connect with peers from outside their community.

How parents can help: Acknowledge their pride while also guiding them to engage respectfully with others. Questions like, “What do you value most about being part of this group?” can help your child reflect while staying open to diverse friendships.

4. Introspection

Pride remains, but there’s also a desire to define oneself beyond group expectations. People start blending cultural pride with personal values, seeking independence in how they express their identity.

Example: An adult embraces their heritage but also chooses career paths, hobbies, or friendships that don’t necessarily match cultural norms.

How parents can help: Allow space for individuality. Support your child’s choices, even if they don’t fully align with traditional expectations, while reminding them that their heritage will always be part of them.

5. Integrative Awareness

At this stage, there’s a secure, confident cultural identity that allows appreciation for diversity in others. The focus often shifts to building bridges and reducing inequality.

Example: A parent teaches their children cultural traditions while encouraging them to respect and learn from other cultures.

How parents can help: Model multicultural appreciation. Celebrate your culture at home, but also show genuine interest in other traditions, foods, and histories. This teaches children that honoring one culture doesn’t mean rejecting another.

Why This Matters for Children and Families

Cultural identity affects self-esteem, resilience, and belonging. For children, feeling connected to their heritage while navigating the broader society helps them develop confidence and empathy. For adults, understanding their own journey can lead to more mindful parenting, teaching, and relationship-building.

Reflection Questions for Parents and Adults

• When did you first notice your cultural identity?

• How has your view of your own heritage changed over the years?

• How can you help your child take pride in their culture while embracing others?

• What’s one way you can invite your child to share their experiences when they ask, “Who am I?”

Final Thought

Cultural identity development is not a straight road—it’s a lifelong journey. Whether you’re a child learning to navigate two languages, a teen figuring out where you belong, or an adult rediscovering your roots, every stage offers an opportunity to grow in self-understanding and compassion for others.

By listening openly and responding with empathy, parents can be a steady guide for children as they ask the big question: “Who am I?”

📞 Contact Dr. Ryan Yam at Dual Minds Psychology to schedule a consultation.

About the Author

Ryan Yam, Psy.D. - Licensed Educational Psychologist (LEP4497) and founder of Dual Minds Psychology. Dr. Yam specializes in ADHD treatment, executive functioning skill development, and culturally sensitive care for children and adolescents.